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From her column Around the Corner

around-the-corner-03-13-1Please!! Say it isn’t so! Not another Czar! Another end-run around “we the people”? What kind of Czar this time? You can’t mean it! A Food Czar? This has to be the most shocking and disturbing news since WWII—the worst ever in my book of world records.

Incredible!! One of the mayoral assistants (i.e., Food Regulator) recently decreed no more “my-size” soft drinks. Could brown bag lunches and hamburgers be next? Have we seen the last of the Quarter Pounder with fries? Possibly. No more submarine sandwiches without a tape measure and stamp of the Food Czar? Do we really care if the sandwich is 11.9999 or 12 inches in length?

And guess what else—no more butter for the broccoli! Well, just to appear fair and balanced and bipartisan, I’ll pass on that one (I never would have killed for broccoli anyway). But, I’m not sure food is actually the problem. To my experienced ear, it sounds like another round of political correctness looming on the horizon, and that is a revolting development!!

Wonder how many other regulators will be named along with the Food Czar? We already have more than 3,000 of them, and even if each one creates only 500 regulations, you can see it will require the use of a super, oversized, mega-computer before we are allowed to begin eating said submarine sandwiches. (Hmmmm. Guess we’ll be needing a Computer Czar.)

Maybe the Czar-makers have forgotten about the “get back to the land” movement of the earth people, and their call to live the simple, frugal life which was lauded a few years back. Looks as though nostalgia about the good old days has passed away, and there’s no use to even dream of moving to our own farm. I’m certain the water drawn from a well would never be permitted, and milk from our cows would have to pass so many regulations and background checks, that said cow would have gone to bovine heaven before milking time.

Real live church potluck dinners with tasty, homemade potato salad and green beans will no doubt soon be caught up in the war on food (not to mention Starbucks—oops, sorry). I accept full responsibility for that national security leak. Must be using the wrong media megaphone.

Food gurus of the entertainment industry are now scurrying around, trying to redesign, and rewrite scripts to pass all the regulations. No more “At the Table with Mary Mabel.” Wish the food regulators would learn to limit their “overreach,” but the bad news: this is not likely to happen soon.

Popular Sunday buffets will fade into the history books (unless some book history committee finds them too objectionable to be included). My beloved bologna sandwich seems doomed to banishment. I can foresee being forcibly detained by the Food Czar Regulator for attempting to sneak my sandwich into the church picnic.

In all fairness, we “food pushers” have been known to exaggerate a little, and the backyard garden probably has never produced sufficient amounts of veggies for a family of eight for an entire season. Also, planting a seed of corn never was the occasion for jumping back out of the way after planting it. We will not be catapulted high into the sky by the instant growth of a cornstalk. Actually, the world-class blisters on our hands grow much faster than the corn (with far less effort).

Czars come and go. Rules and regulations are like the grass of the field, which withers and dies. We have always thrived on the Word of God, which enables us to bear fruit, no matter which way the political winds blow.

But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law (Gal. 5:22).

Justine Knight was raised in a parsonage and married to a Nazarene minister for more than 50 years.

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