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From her column Around the Corner

around-the-corner-07-13-1Once again summer is here, General Assembly is past—sequestered for another four years—and the mirror is signaling that it’s time to lose the many pounds I “found” during the holidays. Of course, it should be remembered that “holidays” are numerous, and include New Year’s Day, Martin Luther King’s birthday, Valentine’s Day, Presidents’ Day, April Fools’ Day, May Day, Memorial Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Independence Day—at least one day per month, except for August.

Holidays are times to celebrate, and celebrations are really times or excuses to eat. I love to celebrate, and don’t really need an excuse to overeat. My will wages war: Eat more! Push back! But, now it’s time to take charge of my eating habits. I must find a weight reduction plan that works. So here goes.

I have become rather cynical about plans which have to do with weight—either how to lose pounds, or find them. Actually, I have never tried to gain weight (never was necessary). But I have tried many weight loss plans, always looking for the quick, easy way to correct my errant eating habits.

I found a plan that looked perfect for me. Did I read that right? Sounds incredible! Quite different from other “point” plans—actually, the direct opposite of most. With this plan all that is required is to sprinkle the magical “diet dust” on your food, and the excess pounds will disappear—maybe even while you wait!

Hurriedly, I sprinkled on the Cinderella-like dust, inhaled the plate of food, and ran to the mirror-mirror on the wall. Well, not a noticeable difference... yet. Is it midnight already? Maybe I ate too fast. Must have gotten in too big a hurry. Will try again. Obviously I missed something. Oh well, guess I will have to try another plan.

Then, a commercial hawking another fabulous point plan boasted, “points you can actually use.” Hey, this is a cool summertime plan. Seriously? Can you believe it? A weight reduction point plan you can actually use! I am so psyched!! Oops. This plan must not have been referring to weight loss. Seems as though my weight reduction plans work like those described by the person who wrote, “I’ve been on a diet for two years, and all I’ve lost is two years!”

Recently I read a slogan, “Live one day at a time. You don’t know what you have until you lose it.” Hmmm. The writer of that bit of wisdom must not have had a mirror-mirror on the wall. Suggestion: I have some good weight scales. Not a good thing for me to view!

Here’s another one that looks easy. This plan sends a month’s food—three or four meals a day (for a price) and you reach your target weight in six months or less. That will work for me. I simply look at the scales, and that becomes my target weight. Easy plan... results may be questionable. Maybe the success rate of this plan is due to the fact that after two or three weeks, you’re so broke you can’t afford to eat!

The garlic and onion diet really didn’t work for me either. I just looked smaller from a distance. Here’s one, “Eat like you mean it!” Hmmm... I can do that!! Never was told, “You’re a mere shadow of your former self,” but, truthfully, the plan didn’t work for me.

The songwriter wrote, “Let me lose myself and find it, Lord, in Thee.” While totally unrelated to weight loss, these words refer to the loss of self-will and the finding of God’s will. No points needed. What a satisfying plan!

St. Paul, writing to the Church in Corinth, states it for us: “Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Cor. 4: 16, 17).

That’s a plan we can all use, and can’t afford to lose.

Justine Knight was raised in a parsonage and married to a Nazarene minister for more than 50 years.

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